


Can't Get You Out Of My Head

by orphan_account



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: .....yeah, I'm Sorry, I'm so sorry, M/M, SIGH., Sex Pollen, Smut, yeah this is smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 17:55:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11560383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Those cookies were seriously laced with something, and somethingbad.





	Can't Get You Out Of My Head

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT: I AM POSTING THIS AND THEN ORPHANING IT IMMEDIATELY. 
> 
> I really want to share this. I think it's actually weirdly well written, and I'm weirdly proud of it, but I don't want it attributed to my name. So, please, just take this as an anonymous fic, and don't make me take credit for it. (It doesn't even read like anything else I've ever written. It's sort of weird in that respect.)
> 
> I still want you to read this and leave kudos and comment (I'll come check on the comments lol I want people to tell me if they like it whether it's orphaned or not) but...I don't want anyone knowing it was me who did this. 
> 
> Sigh. Here goes.

To be fair, they didn't have a "don't accept food from fans" rule before The Incident. No, that came after, and it was _because_ of The Incident.

But on the other hand, Patrick should've been more concerned than he was by the fan that was busy thrusting a plate of chocolate chip cookies at him after the show, with a smile on her face that could only be described as _wicked_. 

Patrick wasn't one to act rude to fans, so he took the plate with a smile much nicer than the belligerent girl's and even said thank you. The girl, on the other hand, just grinned and made a comment about how it was her mom's recipe, which sounded very concerning in the tone she used, but Patrick ignored that. 

Pete, Andy, and Joe were wary of the cookies (and as it turned out, they should've been), so Patrick had the plate all to himself. When they got to that night's hotel, Patrick set them on his table for later. They had four hotel rooms that connected in pairs with a door; Andy's opened to Pete's, and Joe's opened to Patrick's. Patrick made sure to lock the door between his and Joe's room (Joe had no notion of privacy), but he knew Joe had a key just in case of emergency. Joe, luckily, did have some notion of what an emergency was. 

Patrick sighed as he turned on the TV and tried to find something to watch. He hit Food Network and settled for Cupcake Wars, which was nice, but mostly only succeeded in making him hungry. The plate of cookies still sat on the table, right in plain sight. He knew the other guys had acted like he shouldn't trust random gifts like that, but hey, what harm could one do?

He got up, turned off the TV, and made his way to the table. He hesitated a bit, hand hovering over the delicious-looking desserts, before realizing how stupid he was being. Of course the cookies weren't going to hurt him. 

He grabbed the topmost cookie and took a bite. It was chocolate chip, and actually really fucking good. It was the melt in your mouth kind of cookie that Patrick _loves_. They were rather small, and it only took three bites to finish one. He savored it for a moment, relieved nothing went wrong, and he was actually going to grab a second one when a weird, sick feeling started in the pit of his stomach. 

Patrick stepped back from the table. Great. With his luck, the cookies were poisoned, or some shit like that. Of course his bandmates were right. He was going to die by baked desserts. 

But actually, he didn't think he was dying, and the "sick" feeling was less of a nauseous one and more of a strange, uncomfortable one that he couldn't really describe. 

Patrick blinked. He wasn't sure how he ended up sitting on the floor. He felt a little dizzy. Did he pass out for a second? Were the cookies laced with something? They probably were. That was just wonderful. 

But if the cookies were laced with something, Patrick didn't have a clue what it was. This wasn't any kind of feeling he knew. And it just kept getting weirder. 

Starting from the tips of his fingers, he got a weird, prickling sensation, like pins-and-needles, but...better? Except it wasn't. It was complicated. 

Patrick shivered. He could actually _feel_ the weird tingles spreading up his arms and all over his body, like trickling water. That was actually a very adequate metaphor for this feeling, whatever it was. What the _hell_ was in those cookies?

Patrick made a feeble attempt to stand up, but as soon as his hand brushed the carpet, he cried out. The barely-present brush of his skin again the rough carpeting felt like he was on fire. 

Speaking of which, when had it gotten so hot in here? Had he turned the AC off? Or was it just him?

Patrick tried again to get up. And again, his hand brushed the carpet and elicited a...moan?

Patrick clapped his hand over his mouth, because /fuck/ that was loud, but the action only succeeded in providing more aggravated sensations as his palm brushed his lips. 

Patrick bit back _another_ moan. What the hell was going on? Those cookies were seriously laced with something, and something _bad_. 

Biting his lip (which, while quieting the noises coming from his mouth, was not helping matters otherwise), Patrick made one last attempt to stand up, and finally succeeded, only to find that for some reason, his legs just didn't want to hold him up, and he just collapsed forward, slamming straight into the wall. 

The wall was smooth enough that sliding down it barely even caused an undignified whimper, but it only took Patrick a second to realize that he had just slammed, full force, into Joe's wall. 

Across the room, his phone buzzed. Patrick was in no condition to try to make it over there at the moment, but he would put his money on the text being from Joe, and something along the lines of "are you ok in there?".

Patrick blankly registered that if he didn't answer soon, Joe would probably use his Only For Emergencies key to check on him. So, considering this, he did his best to get to his phone. But with his legs strangely out of commission, and every inch he dragged himself across the floor requiring him to bite back yet another unprecedented moan, he didn't make it too far. 

Patrick ended up at the foot of the bed (much further than he'd expected to make it, at least), but still not close enough to answer his phone and prevent catastrophe. 

Then Patrick curled up into a ball, which had to be his biggest mistake yet. 

The sensation of moving against the carpeting, combined with the fabric of his clothes shifting and his own skin-on-skin contact, gave him such a feeling of unexplained pleasure that he let out a moan so loud it was practically a howl. 

And if Patrick's lack of response to his text didn't worry Joe, that sure as hell would. 

Sure enough, Patrick heard a yell of "Are you okay? I'm coming in!", and then the door unlocking. 

He tried to yell back, "I'm fine", but his voice was working just about as well as his sense of balance: not at all. All that came out was another undignified noise, but luckily a quieter one this time. 

Patrick didn't remember hearing the door _open_ , exactly, but it must've, because Joe was now standing over him, eyes wide with concern. Patrick could do little more than just stare back at him pitifully and hope he would decide to just leave. 

But of course, that's not what happened. 

Instead, Joe knelt down next to Patrick. "Hey," he said softly, "are you okay?"

Patrick did his best to reply, but when all that came out his mouth was a strange groan-whine mix, he shook his head. That, of course, was even worse, because his cheek rubbed the carpet and this time he couldn't stop the strangled moan that escaped his lips. 

"Uh..." Joe looked utterly perplexed. "What's going on?"

Patrick did his best to form coherent words, he really did, but it was difficult when his mouth didn't want to move right, and Joe kept leaning closer to look at him, and the body heat coming off Joe just made everything worse, and _oh holy fuck_ , Patrick was _hard_ right now. 

"Patrick?" Joe frowned. "C'mon, man, you're kinda freaking me out."

Patrick let out a desperate, high-pitched whine that he wasn't very proud of, which made Joe look all the more concerned. 

"Listen, man, I don't know what's going on, should I go get help?" Joe asked shakily, moving to stand up. 

"No!" Patrick practically screamed out. 

Joe froze. Patrick was confused, too. That was the first time throughout this whole mess that he'd managed to force even a single word out. He wasn't quite sure why, but it was something about the threat of help (he wanted as few people to know about this as possible) and Joe moving away that made him force the word out. 

Joe knelt down again, his frown deepening. "Uh, okay? Really, what's wrong?"

Patrick couldn't do much more than give him a frustrated look. He couldn't force out a word again, much less a whole explanation. 

Joe seemed to get the hint. "Shit. Okay, I'll figure it out." He looked around the room wildly. "Did you take something, dude? Or, like-" his gaze hit the table and his sentence fell short. He turned back to Patrick, a mix of confusion and worry on his face. "Was it the cookies?"

Patrick nodded, and to his credit, managed to bite back the moan that resulted from the sensation of the carpet on his cheek again. 

"I fucking told you not to eat those!" Joe let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. "Okay. So it was the cookies? What'd they even _do_?"

Patrick opened and closed his mouth like a fish, unsure how to respond, if he even could. 

By some miracle, he managed to force out two whole words this time, mumbling, "Hurts, Joe."

Because it was hurting, now. The tingling sensation was getting worse and worse and starting to become pure pain. Something needed to happen, and fast. 

Joe furrowed his brow. "What hurts?"

Patrick just gave a weak nod in reply, once again managing to bite back a moan. 

"Um...do you mean, like...everything?" Joe guessed, and sighed at another nod, this time accompanied by a small squeak because Patrick couldn't shut his mouth fast enough. "Okay, so everything hurts? Because...the cookies?"

Patrick managed a nod without even brushing the carpet this time, which he considered a noble achievement. 

"Patrick, listen, I get this is bad, but I really think you should go to the doctor of something..." Joe said quietly. "I can't help you."

Patrick wanted to scream. Firstly, he was not going anywhere near a doctor right now. This was staying in this hotel room, whatever it took. Secondly, he was getting a sinking feeling that Joe _could_ help him. A lot. But not in ways that he wanted to dwell on. 

Instead of screaming, he just shook his head. The rub of the carpet elicited another moan, and this time he didn't even try to stop it. Maybe Joe would take a hint. 

He didn't. 

Rather than get the hint, Joe did the worst possible thing, and tried to help Patrick up. But the second his hand brushed Patrick's arm, Patrick let out the loudest, most embarrassing moan yet. He was suddenly acutely aware that he was _very_ hot, and _very_ hard. 

"Um." Joe looked very concerned. "Patrick, I-"

Patrick would like to say that he had a perfectly normal reaction to all this. But none of this was perfectly normal. 

The truth is, what he really did was launch himself off the floor, ignoring the rub of fabric and carpet for once, and latch his mouth onto Joe's. 

Joe let out a totally justified squeal of surprise and pulled back. "Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa. What's going on?"

In lieu of a response, Patrick threw himself at Joe again, wrapping his arms around his torso and kissing him with a passion he hadn't even known he was capable of. 

And again, Joe pushed him off. 

"Patrick, no." He said bluntly. "Something's up with you, and we are _not_ doing this right now."

Patrick couldn't take that for an answer. He quite literally _couldn't_. He tried again to latch himself onto Joe. And again, Joe pushed him away, this time before he even made contact. 

Patrick didn't even know why he was doing this. Okay, that was a lie. He was doing this because in stark contrast to touching the carpet and the wall and everything else, touching Joe felt _good_ , and it was the only thing that seemed to actually _stop_ the pain. 

"Patrick!" Joe yelled, exasperated. "Stop! What the fuck is going on?"

Patrick was so desperate that he actually managed to find words. Or, at least, one word. 

"Helps." He told Joe softly, and somehow, Joe knew exactly what he meant. 

"Oh. Um. Okay. It's like _that_." Joe said just as softly. There was a weird emphasis on the word "that", and Patrick understood it perfectly. Yes. It was like that. 

And Patrick was ever-so-thankful when Joe decided to kiss him on his own terms. 

Patrick's arms flew around Joe's neck seemingly by their own accord, and Patrick didn't even have the time to consider that he really hadn't kissed a guy before. Well, not that it mattered. Nothing mattered, not now. 

Patrick wasn't sure when tongue became involved, but it sure as hell did. Not that he was complaining; the more they did, the less it hurt. 

Which was why Patrick accidentally let out an extremely loud _whine_ when Joe pulled away. 

Joe winced at the noise, and sighed. "No, Patrick, hey. I'm not stopping. Well, I am. But I'm not going anywhere. This is helping, right?"

Patrick nodded desperately. Yes, yes, yes. And that's why Joe shouldn't be _stopping_. 

"Okay. Good." Joe looked very uncomfortable, and was obviously trying to find the right words. "So, like, but...it's not...fixing this fully, is it?"

Patrick paused. Joe had a point. He slowly shook his head. 

"There needs to be more, doesn't there?" Joe asked him, slowly as seemed possible, drawing out the whole question as if to make sure Patrick got it. 

"Yes." Patrick actually managed to say, surprised at the sound of his own voice. To be honest, it doesn't sound very good. 

"Okay. Got it." Joe frowned, and added, "Like, _how much more_?" 

Patrick's mouth went dry. The pain was starting to come back. He knew the answer, but hell, he wouldn't say that. Would he?

"Patrick." Joe gritted his teeth. "How. Much. More?"

"All of it." Patrick breathed out, astounded at his newfound ability to almost speak a real sentence. He was starting to see that his voice only worked to convey things that _needed_ to be said. Most of which were embarrassingly sexual. 

"Figures." Joe muttered, then pulled Patrick back in for another kiss. 

Patrick was fully ready to make out for, well, forever probably, but Joe pulled away again. 

"No." He said. "This isn't fixing it, you said it yourself. Do you...could I, like...suck your dick?"

"Yes. Yes yes _yes_." Patrick gasped out, making a new record for total words spoken at one time. 

"Okay." Joe nodded blankly. 

In what was probably record time, he had Patrick's pants down and seemed be ready, looking like he'd done this before and was fully prepared, but hesitating. 

"Are you sure?" He asked carefully, looking directly into Patrick's eyes. 

"Yes! Please!" Patrick replied, unable to not sound desperate, and finding it was becoming a little easier to get words out. 

"Alright." Joe nodded, and suddenly, his mouth was on Patrick's dick and Patrick lost the thought he'd just been having about how he definitely hadn't done this before. 

Patrick really didn't know Joe knew how to suck dick. But obviously he had some prior experience, because even with whatever was in the cookies making everything feel stronger, it was obvious this was good enough by itself. Patrick didn't even try at all to hide his moan this time, and he was a bit surprised, and even amused, to look down and find Joe somehow managing to look smug, even with his mouth occupied with Patrick's dick. But Patrick couldn't concentrate on that for long, because he was once again hit by a wild wave of pleasure that caused him to let out what may have been the loudest moan yet, but then again, every one seemed like the loudest. 

Patrick had no prior knowledge of how long he should've lasted, but he was pretty sure it was only a minute (probably less) before he was coming without warning right into Joe's mouth (not that Joe seemed to mind). 

Joe pulled back, seeming as satisfied as Patrick was. For a second, the tingling sensation actually went away, leaving Patrick with hope that maybe everything was fixed and he wouldn't need to go any further, but then it rushed back in full force, causing him to squeak a little and wince. And (just wonderful) he was hard again. 

"Holy fuck, Patrick." Joe said, noticing the same thing Patrick had. "Those cookies are _fucked_."

Patrick laughed for no real reason, and it was a bitter laugh, as he really did need something else. Now. Immediately. 

He had no qualms with pulling Joe in for another heavy kiss, so he did so, and quite violently at that. Joe, of course, didn't complain. 

Once again, though, he pulled away. 

"Hey." He said when Patrick made a noise of protest. "Obviously you need more. And there's only one thing I can think of. So." Joe inhaled sharply. "Can you wait, maybe...fifteen seconds if I run and get...stuff?"

Patrick doesn't wanted to say yes, but if Joe was implying what Patrick thought he was, he had to. So he nodded. 

"Alright. I promise I'll be quick." Joe pressed a fast kiss to Patrick's lips like it was meant to emphasize that, then ran back into his room. 

It probably was only fifteen seconds, but that was enough time for the tingling to turn into pain again. Patrick desperately longed for touch, and he felt weak and helpless sitting here, no matter how short a time it was for. 

Joe did quickly return, closing his door behind him, and bearing what Patrick quickly identified as condoms and lube. His breath hitched in anticipation. 

"Alright, Patrick, if this doesn't work, I don't know what will." Joe said bluntly, an unidentifiable edge to his voice. 

"Please, now," was all Patrick could say in response, his voice taking a whiny edge that got on his nerves. But it was enough. 

"Okay." Joe said. 

It had just now occurred to Patrick that Joe seemed experienced enough to have done this before, and Patrick had definitely _not_ done this before. But he didn't have time to dwell on that, as Joe decided to lift him onto the bed. 

Just the touch to his skin (even if it's just under his arms) was enough to make Patrick feel about ready to orgasm again. If anything, the tingling felt worse. It might have been the anticipation. 

Once Joe got Patrick settled on the bed (after a lot of moving and moaning from Patrick), he climbed on as well and sighed. "Okay. You ready?"

" _Yes_." Patrick replied, and it was almost a moan in itself. 

Joe nodded. "Okay."

With that, he moved his hand around Patrick's body, and with definite experience, slipped one lubed finger into Patrick's ass. 

Patrick _knew_ that this was the loudest moan yet. He'd never done this before, but he was already ready to do it a million times again. 

"Whoa there, man, that's just one finger." Joe said with a touch of amusement. 

Patrick's only response was to moan out, "God, _more_."

"Okay." Joe replied, and added another finger, and Patrick was convinced he'd found heaven. He didn't know if it's normally like this, or if the cookies were just making it better, but if this was normal...hell, he never wanted to /stop/. And that wasn't the cookies talking. He was sure of that much. 

"You good for one more?" Joe checked, and Patrick only needed to make a strained affirmative noise for Joe to understand. 

If two fingers was heaven, three is...somewhere higher than heaven, to say the least. 

Joe looked amused again. "You know you haven't even had a dick in there yet, right?" He asked, only half joking. 

" _Please_." Patrick whined out in response, and Joe didn't hesitate. 

Patrick had heard that your first time was supposed to hurt at first, but this was nothing but pure _ecstasy_. He didn't know if it was the cookies or if it was just like this normally, but either way he was thankful. He was sure he hadn't known true and pure bliss until right now, with Joe's dick in his ass and their lips pressed together messily (he didn't even remember the kissing starting, but it sure as hell had started). 

This lasted longer than the blowjob. Actually, it felt like it lasted forever. But the good news was that with each thrust Joe made (and each moan in response from Patrick), the tingling feeling disappeared bit by bit. Patrick savored the relief, and by the time he came again, he felt actually normal, but still absolutely _wonderful_. 

His memory failed him slightly at that point (he may have passed out), but he was pulled back into reality by Joe lightly tapping his shoulder.

When Patrick looked to Joe, Joe asked, "Uh...you okay now?"

Patrick nodded wildly and rushed out, "Yes. I'm fine. It stopped. I'm okay."

Joe let out a heavy sigh of relief. "Okay. Guess that was it, then."

They fell silent, and that was when an air of awkwardness started to fall. 

"Well." Patrick said quietly, suddenly fully aware of what had just happened. "We...wow, we just had sex."

"Yep." Joe agreed, popping the 'p' and grimacing a little, which makes Patrick feel bad. 

"I'm not saying it's bad!" He said quickly, hoping it would make Joe look less uncomfortable. He didn't want Joe to be uncomfortable. 

"Are you sure?" Joe didn't look convinced. "I mean, I'm pretty sure you weren't completely mentally _there_ for all of that. For any of that, really."

"Maybe not." Patrick admitted. "But I remember all of it, and hell...I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't do that again." He paused, and added, "Sometime when I'm not suffering from weird cookies, of course."

"Really?" Joe asked, looking doubtful.

"Really." Patrick answered, then quickly amended, "But not right now. I'm tired. I'm _really_ tired. We can talk about this in the morning."

"Yeah, me too." Joe nodded, then slowly asked, "Hey, can I, um...sleep here tonight?"

Joe looked like he was blushing crazily, and Patrick smiled at that and laughed. 

"Yeah." He grinned. "Anytime."

Joe nodded once, then laid down and pulled Patrick, who was still naked (well, Joe was as well) close to him, burying his head in Patrick's neck as he closed his eyes. 

It didn't take strange cookies for Patrick to enjoy this.


End file.
